In a sport that celebrates athleticism and skill, footballers transcend to heroes of the people through their on-the-pitch exploits.
But one footballer decided he wanted to live the football star life of glitz and glamour, without putting all of the hard work on the training pitch and on the weekends.
His name was Carlos Henrique Raposo, but he is much better known as ‘Kaiser’. The most famous player to never have played a single minute of senior football.
Despite all his trickery, deception and parasitic relationships with the clubs he played for, he became somewhat of a hero for just how long he got away with the biggest facade in football history.
“All the teams I joined celebrated twice — when I signed and then when I left.”
A Legend is Born
Kaiser was born on April 2, 1963, in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Raised in a working-class family, he soon became obsessed with football, playing it on the streets like most young boys do in Brazil.
He was by no means a poor footballer, despite his later decisions he was good enough to have a career in the game well within his sights when he was younger.
He was scouted for Botafogo’s academy in 1972, where he stayed a year before moving to Flamengo’s youth set-up, where he continued his ‘development’ for the next 6 years until 1979.
But it seemed he wasn’t ever going to be good enough to make it at Flamengo, and aged 16, he was released.
Still good enough to keep at it, a scout went to Gávea to watch a different player, Beijoca, but Kaiser stole the show in training and signed for Mexican side Puebla.
Just months later he was deemed not good enough and released without ever playing a minute for the side.
At this point a 16, pushing 17-year-old Carlos was faced with 2 options: Dedicate enormous time to getting great at football, or give up the dream and resign to a much simpler life.
Kaiser despised the sound of putting so much effort in for a slim chance of success, and a working-class life was not for him anymore.
So instead of doing either of the two options 99% of people would ponder, Kaiser embarked on a devious scheme to enjoy all the luxuries of a footballer’s lifestyle, without the work or risk.
He even had the build of a footballer and not just any footballer mind.
Identity Theft
One day Kaiser was mistaken for Gremio’s star player, Renato Gaucho, and in that instant, Kaiser realised he had an easy opportunity for a taste of the good life.
He began dressing exactly like him, acting like him, calling himself Renato. He had such confidence and charisma that it seemed to work out without a hitch.
Everywhere he went, people were certain he was Renato. They swarmed him for autographs, he got free drinks all night from clubs and bars, and most importantly to Kaiser, women were throwing themselves at him.
But naturally, a lot of attention was drawn to Renato’s antics. The real Renato was married, and after reports of Renato being seen cheating on his wife in clubs surfaced.
The two would finally meet when one day, Renato himself went to enter a club, before being stopped by a bouncer who refused to let him in on the basis that “Renato is already inside”.
The two would meet, but strangely, Renato wasn’t even mad. No one was really hurt by his identity theft, and the two even became unlikely friends. Renato was happy for him to continue his act.
He could fool the whole nation into believing he was a beloved footballer, so surely he could trick the world into believing that Carlos Kaiser was a professional football player.
Although he lacked the natural talent of many aspiring footballers, Kaiser was blessed with charm and charisma that would later prove to be his greatest assets. All he had to do was convince a club he was good enough to play.
This is where he’d don the name, Kaiser, with Carlos claiming it was a nickname he earned thanks to sharing many similarities on the football pitch with Franz Beckenbauer.
It was all spin of course. The name actually came from a friend who compared his likeness to a bottle of Brazillian ‘Kaiser’ brand beer after he had received a reputation for drinking bottles of it one after the other.
So at this point, Kaiser has a CV of sorts. His time at youth academies made his deception possible, but now many months out of practice, he’d never sign for a big Brazillian side on merit.
But, with his newfound football friend Renato, who had taken a keen liking to Kaiser, and introduced him to other famous footballers, such as Carlos Alberto and Bebeto, he had an impeccable reference list to delve into.
He created a story that when at Puebla’s he was so electrifying a player that they tried to convince him to play for the Mexican national side at just 17.
Sure enough, his references, meticulously crafted backstory and lack of ability for clubs to fact-check him in the early 80s led him to repeatedly sign short contracts with clubs.
Kaiser’s Web Of Lies
Usually, upon signing he’d claim he was lacking match fitness, and would simply take part in physical training, where he wouldn’t have to show any footballing ability, and could shine thanks to looking the part of a footballer.
His contracts were always short-term, and when teams would expect him to actually play football in training he’d feign a hamstring injury, which was very easy to do 40 years ago. There was limited technology so clubs really couldn’t tell.
If that wasn’t enough, he’d have a Dentist claim he had a ‘Focal Infection’ whenever clubs demanded he show some of his ability in training.
But his web of deception stretches further still. After signing for clubs, he would befriend journalists and influence them to write good things about him.
He went out and bought expensive fake mobile phones and pretended he was speaking to European countries about transfer offers.
The first club he defrauded was his old side Botafogo. Faking injury to give himself months of a footballing lifestyle, he was only caught by pretending to speak English in an attempt to buy himself more time at the club but was later caught by a club doctor who was fluent in English and knew that Kaiser was speaking gibberish to nobody.
In these days communication between clubs was far less frequent, so this only meant he’d never sign for Botafogo again.
So he’d go back to Flamengo, and do the same thing there, enjoy a few months of footballers wages for lifting a few weights here and there and partying every night.
After Flamengo he tried his hand at identity theft again, claiming to be part of the Independiente side that won the Copa Libertadores, by using the name Carlos Enrique, a player who did achieve such a feat.
It’s hard to keep track of where he actually signed contracts and where he just claimed he played.
But this couldn’t last forever, at a certain point he was going to run out of teams to scam.
There was, however, one thing that always made you instantly more desirable as a player. A move to Europe.
Kaiser had his sights set on a big transfer across to a different continent.
An Ineffable Decision-Making Ability
‘Signing’ for French Ligue 2 outfit Ajaccio thanks to his friend who played there vouching for him, he built up a rapport with journalists.
These journalists would later write articles about him being Ajaccio’s top goal scorer for 7 seasons in a row, despite him having been in Brazil the past 7 years.
But Kaiser almost saw his whole web come crashing down, as Ajaccio unveiled him in front of the fans, expecting him to showcase his skills in a variety of ways.
Kaiser’s uncanny ability to think on his feet and appear incredibly likeable was on full display, as in a moment of genius, the Brazillian kicked all the balls into the crowd for the fans to keep while kissing the club badge.
It worked brilliantly, affording him months of free wages, all while Kaiser wasn’t even in France. He stayed in Brazil, collecting the paycheck.
This wasn’t just great for his short-term situation, but gave him a huge CV boost.
His next side he would swindle was Bangu, back in Brazil. Earning a move thanks to his ‘exploits’ for Ajaccio, he’d employ the same classic injury schemes as before.
But this time he’d be faced with no way out of playing.
After a month or so of his typical injury-faking routine, Bangu owner, Castor De Andrade, who was a scary man with mob association, demanded that Kaiser play a game.
As far as Castor was aware, Kaiser was his star player, a big signing and after months in the injury room, he grew sick of seeing him only ever physically training.
With Bangu 2-0 down, Carlos ordered the coach to bring Kaiser on. With discovery inevitable, and a life of simplicity staring at him in the face, Kaiser hatched his most infamous plan yet.
With tensions in the crowd high, and fans yelling at players and staff, Kaiser received plenty of abuse as he was warming up. He saw an opportunity, running over to the supporters and starting a brawl with them.
Before he could even set foot on the pitch, their star striker was sent off.
Kaiser walked back into the changing room, where a seething Andrade came charging in.
When asked what he was playing at, Kaiser looked up and explained “God has taken both my parents away but gave me another father who they accused of being a crook,” he sniffed. “So I lost it and went for them. But don’t you worry because my contract is up in a week and I’ll be off.”
It seemed even corrupt owners with mob affiliations weren’t immune to his charm.
Andrade would give Kaiser a six-month extension and a pay rise off the back of this stunt.
All Good Things Must Come To An End
Kaiser went on to play for 5 more clubs, on one occasion signing for Fluminese to help a player overcome an alcohol problem after scores of references from players assuring he was a “good and responsible person” and did not drink alcohol.
One can only assume, that the player struggled to overcome his addiction.
For all his deception and unethicality, there’s something so joyous about seeing an ordinary footballer game the system so hard that routinely takes advantage of many and spits them out.
Kaiser remains one of football’s great anti-heroes. A conniving, trickster that stopped at nothing to live a life of partying. A man who could charm a Bull. He may be football’s least impactful player on the pitch, but in his own right he was prolific at what he did.
